week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
