You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
