and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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