I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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