I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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