In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
