Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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