he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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