Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
