Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
