just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
