I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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