no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
