On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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