just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize