Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
time to smoke my breakfast
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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