We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
