it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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