Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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