He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
What a dumb baby whore.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
