dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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