when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
