Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
