Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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