so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
