one might say we're banned from that church
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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