So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
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You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
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Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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