The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
