Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
