...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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