He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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