we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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