I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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