Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
