eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
