Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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