She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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