I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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