I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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