so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
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I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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