My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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