i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
