but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Drunk is not a location!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
