This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
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