She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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