Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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