She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
