I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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