When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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