Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Alive.
So much puke
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
