Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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