brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
