You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
