hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
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You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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