Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
