Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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